Don't be scared to walk alone.

I was recently listening to John Mayer ((whom with I have a freakishly obsessed love affair)) on shuffle and Age of Worry came on. It's off of his new album, and to be honest I haven't really paid much attention to it because I've been all over the place the past 6 months.

Well anyway, I actually listened to the words this time and some particular lyrics really caught my attention.

"Don't be scared to walk alone. Don't be scared to like it."

I feel that so often, my friends are afraid to stray from what is expected of us at this point in our lives. At my age, especially living in Texas, marriage is a huge trend. In 2012 I attended 6 weddings, and this year I have been a bridesmaid in one and have 4 more invitations on their way for the fall.

Most of the weddings I've attended, I've been generally happy and excited for the couple. Sure they're only 22, 23, or 24 years old, but who am I to judge what makes you happy. If you have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, go ahead and say "I Do"... with good judgement. At least date 1 year, please. That's all I ask. ((And really that has seemed like a lot to ask of some girls I know))

Anywayyssss, back to my point.

It is expected of us to get married in our 20s. To start having children in our 20s. To buy a house, get a dog, etc etc. But why do we feel the need to do what is expected? Why is it even expected in the first place?

Growing up, our parents teach us to "be our own person" and that individuality is attractive. But then, we reach the ripe age of 23 and all we hear is "so are you dating anyone?" or "any plans to settle down" and even "don't you want to get married like all of your friends?"

Ummm, hello. I'm TWENTY FREAKING THREE. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. WHY ARE YOU PRESSURING ME?!

Luckily for me, my parents do not put on any of the pressure, but I have had a stray aunt and a cousin's husband bring up the "dating" issue a couple times. I usually just tell them to shove it that I'm doing my own thing and trying to figure out my own life before I bring anyone else into the picture.

I just feel bad for my friends that do feel the pressure. They feel the pressure so much that they will date a guy who they don't even like. Just so that they won't have to attend a wedding alone. And I'm sorry, but what is so bad about attending a wedding alone? You don't have a babysit your date, you can dance all you want with any of the single guys, and it's really just a hell of a lot more fun. Seriously, if you've never been to a wedding without a date, I highly recommend it. And you're hearing this from someone who is pretty much a professional at it by now. ((It's especially a plus when you end up on the same plane as the cute single guy the next morning AND can pick the seat next to him. Thank you Southwest Airlines!))

And the really sad part is, what about all the girls my age out there that might not want to get married? Or have kids? Or want to focus on a career and won't date a guy for the next decade because they won't have time? They are choosing their own path because they are being their own person, so why is it that one question from an extended family member that they see once a year can make them feel insecure about their life decisions? We are all on our own path, we can do whatever the heck we want to do.

I guess the moral of the story here is, those John Mayer lyrics, as cheesy as it is, really hit home for me. Because I'm 23. And I'm not scared to walk alone. And I sure as hell will like it. I do not want to be married right now. I want to figure out who I am first. If you're my age, and you want to be married because you are with the man of your dreams, more power to you. But if you just want to be married because you think that is what you are supposed to do, what is expected of you, and because all of your friends are doing it... please just take a step back and reevaluate your life. You live for yourself. At the end of the day, the only thing you are guaranteed is yourself. So do what you, deep down inside yourself, want to do.

And let me know how it turns out!

Where is "there"?

Hi y'all,

My name is Heather. I live in Texas. I was born in Texas. I love Texas.

Correction: I used to love Texas YEAR ROUND... but then I grew up a little, and started paying attention to my surroundings. I started paying attention to the weather, and started a love affair with my air conditioner. Now I love Texas, from about November to April. I don't know what it is, but I just cannot handle this heat anymore. Or how it was 105+ degrees ALL this past weekend. Or how I walk outside to check the mail and I'm sweating. Or my ridiculously high utility bills. So Texas and I are just kind of in a fight right now.

And it's happening at the perfect time.

Why, you ask? Well, here's a little background.

I graduated from Texas A&M University (Whoop!) in May of 2012 with an architecture degree and immediately started working 2 weeks later at a small interior design firm. I always saw myself taking the summer after graduation off, living at my lakehouse for a couple weeks, visiting a friend who was in Belize for the summer, taking it easy, being that spoiled only child that only occasionally slips out. And then WHAM, BAM (thank you?) ma'am... job offer.

In this economy you DON'T turn down a job offer. ESPECIALLY in a design field. I don't know if you've noticed but design jobs are like THE FIRST thing to go in a failing economy. Plus it was a job doing pretty much the exact thing that I described I wanted to do upon graduation. See, I figured out that I didn't want to pursue an extended career in architecture with only approximately 2.5 semesters until graduation. Sooooo I pushed through and got the degree. But that is story for a post on it's own.

Oh yeah, I forgot the most important part. So I took the job, knowing that it would only be for about 15 months and then my boss was moving across the country with her small business and I would be finding a new job. And that 15 months is just about over THIS MONTH. And so this is where I have decided that I kind of want to divorce Texas. At least for a little while. Where? I have no idea.

Colorado?
California?
PNW?

Actually, my for sure, 100% would move there tomorrow answer is EUROPE (anywhere in the EU) but it's pretty much impossible to move there as an American and find legal work. And I'm not down for illegal work...or getting deported. Yikes.

So as of right now, I'm packing up my apartment and planning a trip to Europe. Just a trip. And then I'll come back to America and find another job. (I'm putting that off as long as possible.) My parents are kind enough to let me use their house as a free storage unit.

And I am facing the biggest unknown that I have ever had to face. Everyone says you'll get there. You'll figure it out. Well, I'm just trying to find out where "there" is. 

Which is exactly why I have started this blog. Because I believe your early twenties are the most confusing, scare the shit out of you, years of your life. And I want to document it. So I can look back and laugh at how ridiculously lost and out of control my life is right now, and be proud of how far I've come.

So grab a drink and join me on this journey. I'm sure it's going to be an entertaining one!