Don't be scared to walk alone.

I was recently listening to John Mayer ((whom with I have a freakishly obsessed love affair)) on shuffle and Age of Worry came on. It's off of his new album, and to be honest I haven't really paid much attention to it because I've been all over the place the past 6 months.

Well anyway, I actually listened to the words this time and some particular lyrics really caught my attention.

"Don't be scared to walk alone. Don't be scared to like it."

I feel that so often, my friends are afraid to stray from what is expected of us at this point in our lives. At my age, especially living in Texas, marriage is a huge trend. In 2012 I attended 6 weddings, and this year I have been a bridesmaid in one and have 4 more invitations on their way for the fall.

Most of the weddings I've attended, I've been generally happy and excited for the couple. Sure they're only 22, 23, or 24 years old, but who am I to judge what makes you happy. If you have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, go ahead and say "I Do"... with good judgement. At least date 1 year, please. That's all I ask. ((And really that has seemed like a lot to ask of some girls I know))

Anywayyssss, back to my point.

It is expected of us to get married in our 20s. To start having children in our 20s. To buy a house, get a dog, etc etc. But why do we feel the need to do what is expected? Why is it even expected in the first place?

Growing up, our parents teach us to "be our own person" and that individuality is attractive. But then, we reach the ripe age of 23 and all we hear is "so are you dating anyone?" or "any plans to settle down" and even "don't you want to get married like all of your friends?"

Ummm, hello. I'm TWENTY FREAKING THREE. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. WHY ARE YOU PRESSURING ME?!

Luckily for me, my parents do not put on any of the pressure, but I have had a stray aunt and a cousin's husband bring up the "dating" issue a couple times. I usually just tell them to shove it that I'm doing my own thing and trying to figure out my own life before I bring anyone else into the picture.

I just feel bad for my friends that do feel the pressure. They feel the pressure so much that they will date a guy who they don't even like. Just so that they won't have to attend a wedding alone. And I'm sorry, but what is so bad about attending a wedding alone? You don't have a babysit your date, you can dance all you want with any of the single guys, and it's really just a hell of a lot more fun. Seriously, if you've never been to a wedding without a date, I highly recommend it. And you're hearing this from someone who is pretty much a professional at it by now. ((It's especially a plus when you end up on the same plane as the cute single guy the next morning AND can pick the seat next to him. Thank you Southwest Airlines!))

And the really sad part is, what about all the girls my age out there that might not want to get married? Or have kids? Or want to focus on a career and won't date a guy for the next decade because they won't have time? They are choosing their own path because they are being their own person, so why is it that one question from an extended family member that they see once a year can make them feel insecure about their life decisions? We are all on our own path, we can do whatever the heck we want to do.

I guess the moral of the story here is, those John Mayer lyrics, as cheesy as it is, really hit home for me. Because I'm 23. And I'm not scared to walk alone. And I sure as hell will like it. I do not want to be married right now. I want to figure out who I am first. If you're my age, and you want to be married because you are with the man of your dreams, more power to you. But if you just want to be married because you think that is what you are supposed to do, what is expected of you, and because all of your friends are doing it... please just take a step back and reevaluate your life. You live for yourself. At the end of the day, the only thing you are guaranteed is yourself. So do what you, deep down inside yourself, want to do.

And let me know how it turns out!


  1. Love this post girl! I just blogged about the same thing the other day.. I'm in no rush for that part of my life. I like being single and living it up right now :)

    1. Hi Sami! So glad you can relate! I'll definitely have to go read that post over at your blog. And all the other ones too! Thanks so much for commenting. I'm new to this and still trying to get it all down, haha!

  2. I know exactly what you mean! Sure there are times I would like a man in my life but overall I am happy being single and not forcing myself to be in a relationship just to be in one because I "should" be. 23 and single is the way to be. :)

    1. I agree with you completely Amy! And I like the way that sounds... "23 and single is the way to be" :)